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XFANTASYWINGSX
Feelings
Saturday, August 23, 2008
I feel so horrible now and i do not want to talk about it. Yes, My grades are dropping drastically... and lots of other problems...
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I rly want to study as hard as i was in Secondary 2... I feel so Lost... Not juz in my results... but in my personal life too. What do i rly want in life? What is my ultimate goal? ...
Why are ppl ignoring me? It rly hurts especially when ppl who are closest to you hurt you...
WHy.....? ? ? I want answers, yet they are never there...
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God... Please help me!!! i rly need you in my life...
i rly want to hear your still and calm voice, i rly want to have that close relationship with you... The close relationship that my friends have, yet i m unable to have till now... I hate myself for being a lukewarm christian... I rly do... Lord, i rly want to be able to feel ur love, to be able to sense your presence... I want to live for you and you alone...
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I feel so inadequate... My band piece... the one that i will be tested on... is so hard... psst... I can't even slur my chromatic scales notes properly... I know it sounds horrible... but i have tried my best... even my junior can play it.. why can't I play it then??????? Sometimes, even my best is not enough... So many impossibly low notes and high notes to play.... How can i master them all... I feel that not only my grades are dropping and i can't play my tuba as well as before, my life is in a mess...
Well, at least i have God, my friends and my family...
I know i can go through all this, if only i believe in God and learn to rely upon him.
posted at : 1:41 PM
